A question over happiness: Prabhupada
told us to “Chant Hare Krishna and Be Happy”. I have been chanting the maha
mantra since two years and I am following the rules and regulations but I am
still very unhappy. I guess that there is a problem somewhere with me. My life
is a mess. Krishna gives me too many tests which I can’t handle. I
have been struggling with my spiritual life and I am tired now. I am helpless.
I was engaged with
a devotee for 1 year and we were planning to get married after our studies. Recently,
his Guru Maharaj told him that, being so young (he is 21 and I am 18), he
should remain brahmacari for the time being. So he has left me. I know that his
Guru is pure and is directly guided by Krishna and his decision is most appropriate but being such
a fallen human being, I am suffering a lot because being engaged for me was
very important as it stabilized my mind. I am trying my best but I am unable to
forget him and to get over it. Please tell me what I should do to become
stronger and to stop suffering from it.
Answers by HH
Romapada Swami
Part of your struggle is clearly connected to
the situation re. your engagement. The feelings you have described are natural;
although you have correctly accepted the course of events as being inspired by Krishna for some reason and are not begrudging or holding
anyone at fault, it is nevertheless difficult for you to remain unaffected by
the turn of events, and this is but natural.
When faced with
such unexpected reversals in life, Krishna advises us to learn to tolerate. (See Bg 2.14) It
is not easy, but this tolerance is a very important quality a devotee needs to
cultivate in order to successfully chant the Holy names. (Siksastaka 3)
The ability to
tolerate comes from the internal faith in Krishna ’s shelter, even if we don’t yet have a strong
realization of it. A devotee can always remain happy because of this shelter
they feel. Knowing Krishna to be the Supreme Controller and my dearest well-wishing friend, the
devotee is confident that Krishna will surely protect me and is orchestrating my life
for the best. This trust that if I faithfully follow Krishna ’s instructions, He will surely protect me (avashya
rakibe Krishna ) is an important limb of the process of surrender. In
addition, a devotee always feels deeply grateful for the numerous blessings Krishna has already provided in their life and is thus not
too disturbed by apparent reversals or by what is seemingly lacking.
There is a
beautiful verse in the Bhagavatam, Prayers offered by Lord Brahma (SB 10.14.8) which
states that when a devotee faces a condition of so-called distress or reversal,
rather than seeing it as a stringent punishment or unsurpassable test, he
considers it a gift or benediction from the Lord. A devotee thinks: “Thanks to
my past misdeeds I should suffer far, far greater than I am suffering now. So
it is by the mercy of the Supreme Lord that I am not getting all the punishment
I am due. I am just getting a little token, which is also for my purification.”
Therefore he is always calm, quiet and patient, despite many distressful
conditions, and continues to serve the Lord with greater enthusiasm. Such a
person is eligible to go back to godhead.
Of course it is
easier said than done, especially when the mind is disturbed and agitated. But
it is possible to turn this into a wonderful opportunity for you to take deeper
shelter and become further attached to Krishna . It becomes especially easy if you can have the
association of devotees who carry such deep faith. Try to seek such association
and hear and chant in their company. You could also associate with Srila
Prabhupada through reading his biography and derive great strength from seeing
how he persevered through all kinds of trials and reversals. Another powerful
process is to cultivate the habit of offering heartfelt prayers to the Lord for
His mercy and help.
So have faith and
persevere. Please do not feel defeated, helpless or frustrated. Krishna consciousness is full of hope. In the ultimate
picture of our eternal relationship with Krishna , even the most trivial of our services and attempts
to connect to Him will be remembered and rewarded by Him abundantly, so your
efforts in Krishna consciousness are not in vain. The present
circumstance itself may be such reciprocation from Krishna to facilitate your advancement, and by continuing
patiently with your devotional service, one day you may look back and
appreciate how it was so.
One concluding
thought: Consider what your reaction would be if you were to receive notice
that you would die in 7 days, as was the case with Pariksit Maharaja. How would
you respond?
Here is what Srila
Prabhupada writes in SB 1.18.3 on the topic of meeting drastic reversals in
life:
“Knowing the transcendental position of the Lord and the
transcendental method by which one can approach that transcendental dhama, the
King was confident about his ultimate destination, and by knowing this he could
leave aside everything material, even his own body, without any difficulty of
attachment. In the Bhagavad-gita, it is stated, param drstva nivartate: [Bg. 2.59]
one can give up all connection with material attachment when one is able to see
the param, or the superior quality of things…. Unless one thoroughly
understands this superior or eternal energy of the Lord, it is not possible to
leave the material energy, however one may theoretically speculate on the true
nature of the Absolute Truth
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